Marriage Is Not a Day Spa; It's a Gym

This weekend, James and I went to a couples' retreat at our church.  It was an excellent (and WAY convicting) weekend, to say the least!  :)  While the topics were pretty foundational, they were presented in a way that really hit home and caused me to examine myself as a wife, and more importantly, as a child of God.  These types of messages are so important so as to remind me of what God's standards are and where I am (hint: no where even remotely close). 

The first session was the "Marriage Blueprint," taken from Genesis 1 and 2.  Pretty basic, but a much-needed and important lesson.  His first point: "Marriage is a commitment designed by God for God."  Yeah, I think we all know that, but how is that manifested in my marriage?  It was designed by God for God.  Guess what that means?  That means that my marriage is not for ME!  This simple, but very deep, thought is really where problems in a marriage begin.  When I begin thinking that my marriage is for me, I start to become bitter, upset, angry, unloving - all because it is not exactly how I pictured it or how I would prefer it to be.  My desires and expectations are not met.  Realizing that I am not in this marriage to benefit myself changes everything!!!  I am not married so that my life can be easier.  I am not married so that I can have more fun.  I am not married so that I can feel appreciated.  I am not married so that I can gain anything!  I am married to bring glory to God!!!  Having this sort of mindset makes it so much easier when the rough times come!  No matter how much I think I deserve or what I want to get out of the marriage, I will never be disappointed if I know that this isn't all about me.  It makes it easier to forgive, to serve, to love.  Christians are always trying to "work on" their marriages - make them stronger and better, which isn't a bad thing.  Marriage is hard and it does take work (hence, the gym, not a day spa).  However, our motivation for working on our marriage is important.  Am I trying to improve/strengthen my marriage so that I'll be happier and life will be easier?  Or am I trying to have a godly marriage because that is what glorifies the Lord?

"For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things have been created through Him and for Him."  Colossians 1:16