On Infertility...

This is a post that I have started to write, rewritten, and given up on countless times.  You see, no one wants to talk about infertility.  It's not that there aren't many people struggling with infertility, because there are.  About 10% of women struggle with infertility - that's 1 for every 10 women.  So why do we rarely ever hear about it?  Because it's such a private matter.  However, I would like to say that it shouldn't be.  It is a trial, and just as we need the love, support, and encouragement of others during other major trials like the death of a loved one, we need love, support, and encouragement during infertility as well.  I have found that for me personally, it helps to talk with others about it - particularly others who have gone through the same thing as me - rather than just bottle it up.  Anyway, all that to say, with a bit of encouragement from my sister-in-law, I'm going to make myself vulnerable and blog some of the difficulties, temptations, struggles, and lessons I have learned and been through as a result of infertility.  In addition to simply being an outlet for me to express myself, I hope that it can possibly encourage other women struggling with infertility and help those who don't struggle with it understand the struggle a bit better so they know how to effectively minister to the infertile.

Let me say right from the beginning, though, that I have not figured out this whole infertility thing, nor do I think I ever will.  I have not "arrived."  I am a sinner who still struggles with infertility and that sin will probably become evident at times as I write.  I'm still trying to figure things out, trust the Lord, and pursue Him through it all and I must admit that I fail....A LOT.

Since infertility is such a huge monster to tackle, I decided I'd break it up into different posts.  I may focus on one aspect of infertility in each post or just something I'm learning.  For now, though, let me share this video I stumbled upon.  While it does a good job of conveying the emotional struggle, it leaves out the hope that we have as sons and daughters of Christ.  It is definitely a painful trial, but through it, we can have hope and comfort, knowing that God loves us and does what is best for us, even if it hurts.

So I hope you'll bear with me and my imperfections as I share this journey of ours.

Sweet Encouragment for ALL Women this Mother's Day, Plus a Sweet Deal!

Today a friend of mine had shared a link on Facebook that caught my attention.  The link led me to a blog post titled, "For Moms, Former Moms, and Wannabe Moms."  You see, this caught my attention because I fall into two of these categories.  I fall into the "Mom" category, one of God's many gifts of grace in my life for which I'm so thankful, but I also fall into the "Wannabe Moms" category, which isn't always as easy to be thankful for.  Up until recently, I hadn't really shared with anyone (with the exception of family and a couple close friends), but we've been struggling with secondary infertility.  Though we have been through numerous trials in our 5 years of marriage, this is by far the most difficult.  Hopefully I'll be able to share more about this journey which God is leading us through at another time, but for now, I just want to share a small portion.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, which I'm anticipating will be a bittersweet day for me.  While I will enjoy celebrating the joy that comes with motherhood, it will be another reminder of the children I don't and maybe never will have.  However, as Wendy points out in her post (which I would encourage you all to read), 

...understand that unfulfilled desire is a tool He uses to give you even better things – things of Himself that you cannot know in easy ways. Believe in confidence that this time of waiting is not just a holding pattern with no discernible value, but it too is a blessing, albeit in disguise, as it increases your strength to run and not grow weary and to walk and not to faint.  

This is something that I've had to preach to myself daily.  God is not allowing this to happen because of any reason other than that He loves me.  While the world may try to convince me otherwise, I know this to be true.  I can be thankful for my trial because it forces and causes me to look to the gospel on more than a daily basis.  Through the pain and tears, I'm able to have hope because I know that God loves me, is in sovereign control over my life, that He is doing what is best for me, and that there are far greater things (even greater than children) to come!

Ok, now on a completely unrelated note (but I wanted to let you all know), Starbucks is offering half-price frappuccinos during happy hour (between 3 and 5) until May 15!  You can go here to get more info.