Marriage Is Not a Day Spa; It's a Gym

This weekend, James and I went to a couples' retreat at our church.  It was an excellent (and WAY convicting) weekend, to say the least!  :)  While the topics were pretty foundational, they were presented in a way that really hit home and caused me to examine myself as a wife, and more importantly, as a child of God.  These types of messages are so important so as to remind me of what God's standards are and where I am (hint: no where even remotely close). 

The first session was the "Marriage Blueprint," taken from Genesis 1 and 2.  Pretty basic, but a much-needed and important lesson.  His first point: "Marriage is a commitment designed by God for God."  Yeah, I think we all know that, but how is that manifested in my marriage?  It was designed by God for God.  Guess what that means?  That means that my marriage is not for ME!  This simple, but very deep, thought is really where problems in a marriage begin.  When I begin thinking that my marriage is for me, I start to become bitter, upset, angry, unloving - all because it is not exactly how I pictured it or how I would prefer it to be.  My desires and expectations are not met.  Realizing that I am not in this marriage to benefit myself changes everything!!!  I am not married so that my life can be easier.  I am not married so that I can have more fun.  I am not married so that I can feel appreciated.  I am not married so that I can gain anything!  I am married to bring glory to God!!!  Having this sort of mindset makes it so much easier when the rough times come!  No matter how much I think I deserve or what I want to get out of the marriage, I will never be disappointed if I know that this isn't all about me.  It makes it easier to forgive, to serve, to love.  Christians are always trying to "work on" their marriages - make them stronger and better, which isn't a bad thing.  Marriage is hard and it does take work (hence, the gym, not a day spa).  However, our motivation for working on our marriage is important.  Am I trying to improve/strengthen my marriage so that I'll be happier and life will be easier?  Or am I trying to have a godly marriage because that is what glorifies the Lord?

"For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things have been created through Him and for Him."  Colossians 1:16

A Trip to the ER and a Wonderful Reminder!

It's been a while, so I guess it's time for an update on the Parker family! As some of you know, we've have a busy week. Hannah started to get sick last week and the sickness progressed until we finally decided that we should probably take her to the doctor. Poor girl wasn't eating, was coughing up a storm, and didn't want to play. All she wanted to do was to cuddle, which I took advantage of, since she's not a cuddler! We weren't able to get an appointment, so Friday night, James took Hannah to urgent care, which ended up being a much longer than anticipated trip. Urgent care opens at 5, so James thought he would get there when it opened so it would be a quick in and out trip. However, 2 hours later, they finally got into the room and waited another half hour before seeing the doctor. Good thing he took a book with him! As it turned out, Hannah had croup. When I came home (I wasn't at the doctor, because I was at a women's function at church), I found all the lights off in the house, and Hannah and James snuggled up in a chair together. Hannah was sound asleep and it was so precious to see!!!

Fast forward to 4:30 Saturday morning. Hannah woke up coughing (which woke me up), and she couldn't stop, so I went in to check on her. I picked her up and we finally managed to get her to stop coughing; however, she was having a hard time breathing. I woke James up to get his help. I took her outside in the cool night air, while James called the advise nurse. She recommended that we take Hannah in, so to the Emergency Room we went. We were pleasantly surprised by how quickly they got us in, and the nurses were wonderful! Any time Hannah would fuss, they would run in to check on her. One time, another baby was crying, and our nurse came in, saying, "Oh, I thought that was Hannah!" :) It was good to know our little girl was being cared for by some wonderful and caring nurses! Hannah did an amazing job, considering we were there for about 5 1/2 hours. They took an x-ray and diagnosed her with pneumonia. Thankfully we caught it early, so it wasn't serious and she didn't have to be admitted to the hospital. They gave her some medication to help with the croup and also sent us home with some amoxicillin (which she LOVES, by the way) for the pneumonia. We finally (almost) have our happy, smiley little girl back!

All that to say, it was so hard as her mother, to just sit and watch her be sick. She didn't understand what was going on. All she knew is that she didn't feel good and mommy and daddy weren't doing anything to make her feel better. :( It broke my heart to watch her just sit on the floor, surrounded by her favorite toys, but not wanting to play with them (or have enough energy to play with them). My little baby who smiles almost all day long didn't smile at all. You could see her uncomfortableness in her eyes. And there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. I wished there was some way I could be sick instead of her. Then it hit me. While I wasn't able to take Hannah's sickness from her, our Heavenly Father was able to take our "sickness" away from us! We were all so much more sick than Hannah was (we were all actually dead in our sins) and God DID take our "sickness" from us and put it on Himself when He sent His Son to die for us on the cross. Wow! What a good reminder and picture of His magnificent love for us! Sadly, it is so easy for me to forget the sacrifice God made for us by sending His Son to cleanse and redeem me from my sins. However, even in my forgetfulness or neglect, God is gracious to remind me in so many different ways. Again, I am so thankful for the precious picture of the Gospel that can be seen through the family. It's just one more avenue God has to get His message through my thick skull!

Our Little Girl Is Growing Up

Well, despite my wishes to keep her little forever, Hannah is growing up so fast!!! She has recently hit some pretty big developmental milestones, and it is so fun to watch her learn and grow!

Hannah has always been an excellent napper - until recently. It seems that ever since James has been off work, she hasn't been napping very well (although she's still sleeping great at night, for which I'm thankful!). At first I thought it was just the change in her routine (ie having daddy home) that caused this napping dilemma, and it very well may be part of it. However, when we were in Northern California, we took Hannah to a pediatrician up there for her 6 month check-up. First of all, the pediatrician up there (my sister uses him and recommended him) was EXCELLENT! He was very thorough and made me realize just how much our pediatrician down here wasn't doing (I changed pediatricians the minute we got home. We'll see if it's a good choice in 3 months!). Anyway, he said that some babies don't sleep as well as they normally do before reaching developmental milestones. Hmmm...that's interesting. Well, it turns out that this may also be the answer to our very sleepy, but not napping baby! When we got back from my parents' house, it seems that sitting all by herself just clicked for Hannah! She is a pro at it (almost!) and can sit for a very long time before tipping over or getting fussy! She is even able to reach for toys without toppling over!

Another thing she started doing when we got home is rolling from her back to her tummy. Note that she has always HATED tummy time, so this was quite an accomplishment! In fact, I went in to check on her before I went to bed the other night and she was sleeping soundly on her TUMMY! When she's playing on the floor, she usually ends up on her belly now and doesn't seem to mind it too much. I think she's realizing that in order to get anywhere, she's going to have to do it from the belly position. I think the next step for her will be crawling, which will make my job much more difficult, but so much fun, too! :) She's STILL not sleeping very well, so that crawling thing may be closer than I think - or she's just being stubborn. In fact, as I sit here typing this, she is in her crib whining instead of napping. I know she's tired by her cry and the fact that she's rubbing her eyes so much. Oh, and I think her bald spot is finally starting to fade, since she's not on her back all the time anymore! :)

Just thought you all might like a little update on the littlest Parker, especially for all you family members who live so far away. We miss you and wish you could all be here to witness these fun milestones in her life!

A Little R&R

Well, we figured that since James doesn't have work, we would take advantage of our new "freedom" and go on a mini vacation. :) We don't get to see my family and our niece and nephews very often, so we decided we would take this opportunity to visit Northern California! We've been having a great time and have been quite busy! On Saturday we went to a Guide Dogs for the Blind graduation - a first for James and Hannah. Hannah got to meet and pet some cute little puppies!! Also, James got to see a little bit of my high school life. On Sunday, we visited one of the "puppies" that my family raised for Guide Dogs when I was in high school. He's now seven-years old, but is still a puppy at heart, and Hannah LOVED him! It was so fun to see her reach out to him, pet him, and get lots of kisses from him! :) This morning we took Hannah to the doctor for her 6-month check-up!!! I can't believe she's already half a year old!!! She is a healthy and normal 6-month old, falling in about the 50th percentile for height, weight, and head circumference. Then it was off to my old elementary school to pick up her big cousin, Keanna, and to visit some of my old teachers.

We've been having a blast! It's been fun to see Keanna interact with Hannah and to see all of Lukas and Koda's new talents (clapping, eating Cheerios, standing up, etc.). Keanna (my four-year-old niece) says that Hannah is the cutest baby in her whole family (and if you don't know, she has twin baby brothers, but apparently, the girl cousin is cuter than the baby brothers). :) It's always interesting when you have 3 babies and 1 little girl all together, but so much fun!

Since Hannah's sitting on my lap, I'll let her tell you her opinion of our trip:
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What My 6-Month-Old Is Teaching Me about God's Love

It's amazing how much marriage has taught me about Christ's relationship with the Church (not to mention how much sin in my life marriage has revealed :) ). Adding another factor into the equation - a baby - just magnifies these lessons even more! Just as He uses marriage as an analogy for His relationship with us, the parent/child relationship also teaches us much. There is definitely a reason why God is our Heavenly Father who calls us His children.Because our minds are incapable of fully understanding and comprehending such a great God (just as we learned about God's incomprehensibility in church a few weeks ago), these analogies are useful for us to understand, in part, Who God is. Today I was thinking about how much being a mom has taught me about the love of God. Hannah is incapable of offering me anything. She can't provide any services, she can't produce any goods. In fact, not only can she not provide anything, but she demands my attention, time, energy, etc. When speaking of give and take, I, as her parent, am doing all the giving and she is doing all the taking (of course, I do get great joy from her smiles and giggles, but I think you know what I'm getting at). Even though she really has nothing to offer me at this point in her life, the love I have for her is beyond words - I cannot express it. She has not, nor can she do, anything to earn my love. Just as she cannot earn my love, I cannot earn God's love, yet He continues to love and care for me. God is perfect in every way and there is nothing that I can do that will improve Him or add to Him in any way. This should result in an outpouring of love toward Him. How do I love Him? By obeying His commands. My obedience should not be a result of anything other than a response to His sacrificial, undying love for me. Knowing that I cannot add anything to God takes any desire to please God or to earn favor or merit from Him, because I can't.

Taking it a step further, I still love my daughter just the same when she's cranky and fussy. While I may not enjoy these times quite as much as when she's happy and content, I still love her just the same. Similarly, even when I'm sinning, God still loves me. This isn't an excuse to sin more (Romans 5:6-11; 6:1-2). I'm a wretched sinner - even my "good" works are filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). However, even in my sinfulness, He sent His Son as the ultimate sacrifice to cover and atone for my sins (Ephesians 2:1-10). That should be my motivation for loving, serving, and obeying Him.

How Deep the Father's Love For Us
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

©1995 Kingsway's Thankyou Music
Words and Music by Stuart Townend

What Are My Actions REALLY Saying about My Belief in the Sovereignty of God?

God's sovereignty is one of those things that is easy to practice in word, but not in deed. God has made this evident in my life recently. I find myself blaming others or circumstances for my situation. There are two particular instances that God has really used to show me this. The first was with all of my postpartum complications. It is so easy (and natural, unfortunately) to blame the doctor and the health care system for all of my problems - they should have done this, they did this wrong, etc. And, yes, while they are responsible for their actions, as we all are, God is the one who placed those people in my care. God is the one who allowed that doctor to become a doctor. He allowed that particular doctor to be there on the day Hannah was born. He allowed everything to take place.

The second instance is with James finding a new job. He had been working with recruiters at a specific bank to find a new job. He applied for a couple of positions, along with some of his coworkers. While his coworkers were being called for interviews and receiving job offers, James' applications resulted in nothing. I found myself asking, "Why is his recruiter not doing anything for him? Why isn't the bank calling him? He's one of the top performers in his district. Why are they choosing his coworkers over him?" Then one day it hit me - God is orchestrating everything that takes place, including what this bank does or doesn't do, and obviously this is not what God has in store for our family - at least not yet. While it may not make any sense in my finite mind, God is omniscient and already has it all planned out. He is telling us to be patient and to wait upon Him and His perfect timing and to trust Him in the meantime. When I really think about it, I'm thankful that God is orchestrating James' job situation, because I know that what He has in store for us will be the best thing possible for us, whether it seems like it or not at the time. As I look back over the past few years, I can definitely see how God has taken care of our family and provided for our needs. I pray that as time goes on, I will continue to trust the Lord and realize that His plans, even in the uncertainty of it all, are truly the best for me and our family as a whole.

Ring by Spring

I stumbled upon this on YouTube and thought it was too funny! Ring by spring or your money back!